January 10th 5:00PM It's starting to snow the first since we moved here and the first we have ever seen. The wife and I took our coffee and sat by the picture window watching the snowflakes drift down. The snow was clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful.
January 11th We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time and I loved it. I did both driveways and the sidewalk. Later the snow plow came by and accidentally covered the driveways and sidewalk with compacted snow from the street. The snow plow driver was a very friendly chap. He smiled and waved and I smiled and waved back as I shoveled snow from the driveways and sidewalk again.
January 12th It snowed an additional five inches and the temperature dropped to eleven degrees. Several tree limbs and most of the shrubs collapse from the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveways again. The heck with the sidewalk. No one was going to be walking on it in this kind of weather anyway. Just as I was finishing up the driveways what should appear but the snow plow again. My driveways was covered with brownish gray snow and not so pretty anymore.
January 13th It warmed up enough during the day to create a lot of slush that turned to ice once the temperature dropped again. I went out and bought snow tires for both cars. I invented a new dance trying to stay on my feet as I walked up the slippery driveway. Then I fell all over the place and finally made a three point landing. I didn't break anything but paid the chiropractor five hundred dollars to line every thing in my body back up again. The forecast is calling for more snow tonight. Both cars are covered with salt and crud.
January 14th Still cold enough to freeze fire. Sure enough there was another eight inches of snow fell during the night. I rushed out before the snow got any deeper and bought a four by four so I could take my wife to work. On the way home the four by four slid into a guard rail and did a bunch of damage to the right quarter panel.
January 15th The thermometer is showing two degrees outside. And it is almost that cold in the house. There was more dad-blasted snow fell and I tried to keep from freezing to death by burning candles and lighting the kerosene heater. Then I tripped over the kerosene heater and almost burned the house down. There were third degree burns on my face and hands but I did get the fire put out. Looking in the mirror I discovered my eyelashes and eyebrows were gone. I looked plumb funny. The car slid and my wife ran right into the hospital wall when parking in front of the emergency room. The car was almost totaled. Still being sore from the other fall I was unable to walk into the emergency room. They had to cart me in on a stretcher.
January 16th More snow. More dad-gummed snow. It has continued to fall all day long. It just wont stop. I put on all the clothes I own to go to the mailbox to find the mail carrier doesn't deliver mail in three foot of snow. My body temperature must have been thirty-four degrees by the time I was back in the house. I shoveled snow three more times to have the snow plow come through and cover the driveways again. I shook the shovel at the snow plow driver and he just grinned. The power went out, the toilet froze and part of the roof caved in from the weight of the snow and ice. Why would anyone in their right mind move here?
January 17th Six more inches of snow fell and hard telling what else fell last night. I threw the snow shovel at the snow plow driver when he covered my driveways with slush again. My wife said I was crazy and she took the four by four and left. The other doggone car wont start and I'm going snow blind. I can't move my toes or my fingers. More snow is predicted; With a wind chill minus twenty-two degrees. New England is one place I never want to see again as long as I live. I hate this place. If I can make it to the Greyhound bus station, I'm going back to the Mississippi Gulf Coast and stay there the rest of my life.