So you want the day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for:
There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week. Leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 174 days, leaving only 87 days available for work. You spend 22 minutes per day drinking coffee, that amounts to 4 days per year, leaving 83 days. You take 1 hour per day to read the newspaper, which uses up 22 more days, leaving 61 days. Your 1 hour lunch period uses up 22 more days, leaving 39 days. We are off 10 holidays per year, leaving 29 days available for work. We generously give you 28 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work, and I be doggone if you're going to take that day off!!!!