Roy E. Lovelace
Now every year at Thansgivin' time,
there's a certain story that comes to mind.
When we nearly missed our Thanksgivin' feast,
and how it 'bout done me in to say the least.
The younguns will be comin' with somethin' to eat,
that'll make this dinner a thanksgivin' treat.
When they all git here and everythang is in place,
we'll light into eatin' as soon as we say grace.
Each youngun' will bring in a covered dish,
I just know that Marie will show up with fish.
Three bean salad will be in Alice's bowl,
Mary will make doughnuts without the hole.
Yams and pumpkin pie is what Steven will brang,
he's been crazy bout them, since he wuz a little thang.
I know John will brang bake taters and cheese,
and Shawn will come in with sweet corn and peas.
The last Thursday in November the weather wuz fair,
and the smell of roast turkey wafted through the air.
There wuz dressin' and gravy and plenty of bread,
and the smell wuz drivin' me plum out of my head.
I snuck into the kitchen to steal me a bite,
Martha caught me and we had a big fight.
She gouge me with a fork and slapped me with a spoon.
she said git out of my kitchen, it'll be done soon.
She threw a skillet, I ducked, then she grabbed the broom,
I made a hasty retreat to the livin' room.
But I held on to the dressin' with my wounded hand,
I said I can't help it Martha, I'm a starvin' man.
With a lasso in her hand and a piggin string in her teeth,
I could she was bent on causin' me grief.
You try that again she said with a laugh,
I'll tie you up like a rodeo calf.
I said somethin' is wrong it's a quarter past four,
and nary a youngun' has come through that door.
My gut is plum empty and it's growlin' of course,
and I'm so dad-blamed hungry I could eat a horse.
The phone rang, it was Steven, I asked what's the matter,
he said Marie's fish has done slid off the platter.
When it hit the street, she cried of all the dumb luck,
then the fish wuz run over by a big semi truck.
I said don't worry about it, we don't need it anyway,
she started yellin' that's easy for you to say.
Now we're gonna be late, gotta stop at the store,
cause she ain't comin' til she gits some more.
Then the younguns came in, fish and all,
and I wuz so happy I could almost bawl.
Martha said everybody better git to the table,
and brang your daddy if he's still able.
What to my hunger crazed eyes should appear,
roast turkey and eight goblets of frosty root beer.
That wuz one for Alice, and Martha, and me and John,
and Marie, and Mary, and Steven and Shawn.
There wuz peas, corn, and taters, oh what a spread,
and there sat Marie eatin' fish with no bread.
That girl don't take after me or her Maw,
we don't even like fish, but she eats 'em raw.
John thrust forth the pulley bone to make a wish,
but Marie was too busy huggin' her fish.
Put all that aside, cause this is a fact,
I never seen so much food do a vanishin' act.
The drumsticks wuz gone and so wuz the breast,
the back and the thighs and most of the rest.
There's just one piece left, it don't water my mouth.
It's the north end of the turkey, but it wuz flyin' south.
I took it outside and tossed it to my hound,
he looked at it and left it layin' there on the ground.
I pondered that a minute then thought what the heck,
ain't nothin' or nobody that'll eat a turkey neck.
Sopped up the last of the gravy and everthin' was gone.
'cept for Marie's fish that she wuz gonna take home.
Now over Thanksgivin' turkey folks make a big fuss,
but I done found out the gobblers is us.
Copyright © 2001 Roy Lovelace. All Rights Reserved.